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Old 01-25-2003, 11:59 AM   #1
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the war with luminaro unduli between longo 2 guns

note: i started chapter 1 but nobody replied to it in the fan fiction so im gonna replay the chapter and it will be in dialouge and part story also this story has been changed).

A long time ago, in a galazy far far away, in the clantaani system, on board helm's deep, in the war room, longo 2 guns, leader of the moxie boys was addressing his gang.

longo: i have recieved reprts that there is a new sith, Luminaro Unduli. <a hologram comes up showing a picture of the sith> He has been causing trouble on malastare. i will need to have another jedi accompany me in the Gettysburg and fly to malastare. Then we will meet up with Sebolto.

Jedi joey:who will go with you master?

longo: jedi adam will go with me. Adam go to the armory and get 2 muzzle flint lock rifles. i will go to my quarters and get my 2 blaster pistols and my lightsaber. then meet at the main hangar.

At the main hangar:

longo: are u ready adam?

Jedi adam: yes master. i also brought us 2 gun pouches for the flint lock rifles, and i even remembered the bayonets this time. Also all the gear that we need for the rifles is in the 2 pouches.

longok good now lets get on the ship.

the ship pulls out of the main hangar and jumps into hyperspace
longo and adam talk about the mission ahead.

adam: so were gonna go to malastare.

longo: yes we are. adam u take the controls and ill head to the comm unit and contact sebolto to get permission to land the ship by his palace.

the comm unit starts up and an image of sebolto comes on.

longo: sebolto this is longo 2 guns. u have asked me to come and deal with the sith that has been terrorizing ur dug and gran citizens.

sebolto: yes longo i have. and before u ask u may land near my palace.

longo: thank u ur highness.

all of a sudden the ship was rocked with an explosion

longo: adam what was that!?!?!?!?!?!?

adam: 2 sith like ships have came out and started attacking us.

longo: get on the turret, ill get on the other. Mk-2424 will pilot and operate the forrward cannon, and the ion cannon. shields to full power!

the 2 jedi went to the turrets and started blasting away at the sith star fighters. MK shot a sith fighter with a ion blast and adam finished it with laser fodder. Longo then blasted the 2nd fighter and turned it to rubble.

to be continued:


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Old 01-25-2003, 09:32 PM   #2
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so what does anybody think of my story


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Old 01-25-2003, 10:23 PM   #3
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It'z a really cool story. A have a character, but it'z a Sith. You can check him out on the Character Data Bank. I also have a planet posted up. I'll probably make a Jedi for this story.


edit: merged these posts for you, will take up less thread space that way

-Redwing

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Old 01-25-2003, 11:00 PM   #4
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After the battle, the two Jedi could see a small craft in the distance. As it gets closer and closer, the two Jedi noticed that it is an X-wing.

*A voice crackles over the comm unit*

"I was wondering if you need any help with the problem on Malastare. My name is Zan-Cool Corizen. I am a Jedi from Yavin."

Last edited by Darth NeoVenom; 01-25-2003 at 11:50 PM.
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Old 01-26-2003, 08:04 AM   #5
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i read ur story and planet ur person is very interesting. u should read my person and planet


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Old 01-26-2003, 04:36 PM   #6
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now to get on with the story

longo contacts the jedi in the xwing

longo: zan-cool this is longo 2 guns, we are on a private mission to malastare.

Adam: master longo may i inquire that this jedi appeared right after the 2 sith star fighters attacked?

Longo: yes i can see that. we will shoot down this jedi, and he may appear to be allinged with luminaro unduli. Adam, stay here at at the comm unit and i will go and fly the ship into attack formation. on my signal cut the transmission.

longo ran to the cockpit, charged up the laser cannons and went full speed ahead. then longo signaled adam to cut the transmission and the jedi was surprised to see that longo was using ion cannons. with both ions shooting, soon the xwing was reduced to a pile of non electrical scrap. the jedi was very angry. then without further notice the Gettysburg rushed into hyperspace.

end of chapter 2


Phillipians 4:13: I can do everything because Christ gives me strength.
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Old 01-26-2003, 08:42 PM   #7
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After Zan-Cool saw the ship go into hyperspace, he wonders why the two Jedi attack.

*Calmly starts to rig up a temporarily solution for the problem*

After a few hours of rigging. The engine starts up. Zan-Cool heads to the Jedi Academy on Yavin. When Zan-Cool arrives at Yavin, he speaks to one of the mechanics,

"Can you do me a favor and repair my X-Wing."

The mechanics starts to check and repair Zan-Cool's X-Wing. While the mechanic is fixing up Zan-Cool's X-Wing, Zan-Cool asks a Jedi Master if he could inform Luke that if he could speak to him.
After waiting a while, the Jedi Master returns and speaks to Zan-Cool,

"Master Luke is ready to speak to you. Follow me please."

Zan-Cool follows the Jedi to a chamber where he can see Luke meditating in the distance facing the window. Luke speaks to Zan-Cool,

"Welcome Jedi Corizen."

Luke then stands up and walks calmly towards Zan-Cool.

"Master Luke." Zan-Cool replies while nodding his head slightly towards Luke. "The encounter with the two Jedi wasn't as successful as I planned. They thought I was intruding on their private mission to Malastera."

Luke replies, "How peculiar. I will inform you when I come up with a solution to this whole perdicament. Meanwhile, you are welcome to train more in the academy."

Zan-Cool responses, "Thank you, Master Luke."

And with a slight nod again towards Luke, Zan-Cool and the Jedi Master heads towards the chamber's exit.

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Old 02-01-2003, 04:07 PM   #8
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Story's good so far. Maybe I might join in. (keyword =Maybe )


"My name's not 'Adam We'........or is it????"
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Old 02-01-2003, 04:50 PM   #9
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It would be cool if more people joined .
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Old 02-01-2003, 06:23 PM   #10
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Ok, I'll join, but I'll be using my character from the "Mission to Ord Katrassi: Klai's Revenge" RPG


"My name's not 'Adam We'........or is it????"
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Old 02-01-2003, 08:24 PM   #11
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Cool...A bounty hunter
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Old 02-01-2003, 09:01 PM   #12
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On Bespin, Obi Bond Kenobi wanders through the streets and walks into a cantina.

"Bartender! Hey Bartender!"

Obi Bond waits a couple moments, and the bartender comes to serve him.

"What'll it be, friend?"

"Corellian Ale. Shaken, not stirred."

As the bartender prepares Obi's drink, Obi watches a nearby holo-board.

"This just in from the Bespin News Area. A couple of sith, speeding on sith interceptors, have been spotted near the Jedi Academy on Yavin 4. It looks as if they're planning some sort of invasion......."


Obi, disgusted with the sith scum, bellowed:"Sithspit. They must be ones who almost nearly blew my ship apart! I better investigate this, after my Corellian Ale.........."

"Hey Bartender! Where's my drink???"

The bartender lays down a cold glass of Corellian.

"Thank you!"

He then gulps it down and rushes off to the repair station where he left his ship, The Golden Eye.


"My name's not 'Adam We'........or is it????"
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Old 02-01-2003, 09:17 PM   #13
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part 3

as the gettysburgh descend through the malastare atmosphere, longo pilots his ship to sebolto's compound. he and adam walk to the front door and was greeted by 2 dugs. they walked to the throne room. There they were greeted by sebolto.

sebolto: hello master jedis

longo: hello sebolto, a pleasure to see you!

sebolto: here here, lets get to buisness

for the next hour they talked about luminaro unduli. How they would be able to stop him. then all of a sudden!!!

BOOM!

luminaro Unduli comes in with 10 sith soldiers.

longo: adam do you remember firing commands?

adam: yes master!

longo: here we go then. Ready arms, Aim!, Fire

2 blue blaster bolts come sprining out of the rifles. they hit 2 sith soldiers. meanwhile sebolto's guards take down 7 sith soldiers
ducking behing some columns, longo and adam reload their rifles.

longo: again with the firing commands, ready arms!, Aim!, Fire!!

2 more sith soldiers fall down and the last sith soldier takes a pot shot at longo's arm. Longo is wounded for the time being. the soldier that shot longo takes aim again but falls down as sebolto takes a shot at him.

longo: thanks sebolto.

luminaro: ah jedi, i see you have killed my men, there is now war between us, we will be back again!

adam: master we should get back to the ship. can you walk?

longo: yes. we must get back to helms deep. there we will talk about this new threat!

end of part 3


Phillipians 4:13: I can do everything because Christ gives me strength.
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Old 02-01-2003, 10:12 PM   #14
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Obi Bond, travelling at high speeds through the galaxy, picks up his commlink radio.

"Zan-Cool, are you there? I repeat, are you there?"


"My name's not 'Adam We'........or is it????"
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Old 02-01-2003, 10:27 PM   #15
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While training in the Jedi Academy on Yavin, Zan-Cool Corizen hears his commlink go off...

*Zan-Cool answers his commlink*

"Ah..Obi Bond, good to hear from you old friend," Zan-Cool responds back.

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Old 02-02-2003, 07:12 PM   #16
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"Yes, it is good to hear from you too. Say, you didn't happen to walk past any strange, dark looking men in the Academy, did you?"


"My name's not 'Adam We'........or is it????"
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Old 02-02-2003, 07:22 PM   #17
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"No, I didn't noticed anyone with the description you gave me." Zan-Cool replies.

Zan-Cool continues, "But indeed, I sense a disturbance in the force. I'll inform Master Skywalker about this strange disturbance."

A while later, Zan-Cool speaks to Luke.

Zan-Cool says to Luke, "Master Luke, I sense a disturbance in the force."

Luke responds, "I sense this disturbance too, Jedi Corizen, I'll inform everyone to be alert. I have a bad feeling about this."
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Old 02-02-2003, 10:16 PM   #18
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Obi thinks hard about these two he encountered.

"Hmmm, it looked like those sith were heading to the Academy. I could be wrong. But just in case......."

*takes out a lightsaber.*


"My name's not 'Adam We'........or is it????"
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Old 02-02-2003, 10:23 PM   #19
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*Zan-Cool picks up his commlink and contacts Obi Bond*

Zan-Cool radios to Obi Bond, "I already informed Luke and he informed everyone on the Academy. Let me know what is the situation over there."
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Old 02-03-2003, 03:33 PM   #20
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part 4

As the Gettysburg comes landing in the main hangar at Helm's deep, longo and adam are very tired from their ordeal. Once the ship has docked Longo and adam rush up into the command room. There the rest of the gang awaits:

longo: hey gang we got some disturbing news. we came across luminaro unduli. indeed he was terrorizing malastare and we think he won't be doing that again. we also came across another person by the name of zan cool corizan. we were able to disable his ship and we may think that he is in connection with unduli.

all of a sudden jedi chris comes in with a message:

jedi chris: master, there is a phone call for you, it is master skywalker from the jedi academy on yavin 4.

longo goes to the phone and picks up the very very old fashion phone

longo: hello you have reached wjjz and you have won a trip to the beaches of spira!!! ah im just kidding master skywalker, waaaaaazzzzzzzzzuuuuuuuuupppppppp!! whats new?

luke skywalker: hello master longo i got some news for you. there are 2 people that would like to help you with this assignment, one is a jedi here and the other is a bounty hunter. here is some more good news our people found a crateload of some colonial clothes?!? since your gang is into historical stuff there is enough for you, your gang and militia.

Longo: great!!!! when will it arrive? in a few months? ok. when do you want me at the academy?

luke: right now if you can.

longo: sounds good ill bring all my weapons and what not with me ill go alone and allow me to notify the gang and place who will be in charge.

longo returns to the war room and states what he discussed with luke. he places adam in charge and then heads off to his personal ship where his weapons are already loaded.

as longo takes off and heads to the jedi academy hyperspace route he wonders who the 2 people will be.

end of part 4


Phillipians 4:13: I can do everything because Christ gives me strength.
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Old 02-03-2003, 04:12 PM   #21
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While waiting patiently for Obi Bond to respond back, Zan-Cool decides to practice his lightsaber skills against a training remote.
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Old 02-03-2003, 06:57 PM   #22
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Obi parks his ship, The Tension Dragon, inside the Academy hangar bay, jumps out of the captain's seat, runs up to the Academy doorbell and buzzes Zan Cool and Luke Skywalker.


Without mere introduction, Luke had already known Obi Bond would be in his presence.

Luke:"Hello, Obi Bond."

Obi:"Skywalker......"

Luke:"I informed the academy of the attack you said the sith may start. Any updates yet?"

Obi:"I've just received reports that the sith planning to attack here are elite fighters named Lord Crueder, and his apprentice, Darth Morbius. I assumed they were generals of this Luminaro Unduli's army. Can't quite tell, though."

Luke:"Luminaro Unduli's army is very powerful in the force. All of
his soldiers are either Dark Jedi or Sith. That's why he
prepared for this war against Longo 2guns and the other
academy members. I've informed Longo that you and Zan
Cool Corizen will be accompanying him on his mission."

Obi:"Thank you, Master Luke."

Luke walks off back into his meditation room upstairs.

Obi mutters under his breath,"He has got to teach me how to sense people in his presence some day........"


"My name's not 'Adam We'........or is it????"
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Old 02-03-2003, 07:03 PM   #23
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After Zan-Cool finished his training. He spots Obi Bond in the distance.

*Zan-Cool walks towards Obi Bond*

Zan-Cool speaks, "Ah...Obi Bond, I was wondering when I will see you in person again. I see you have came prepared. You think they are really going to attack the Academy?"
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Old 02-03-2003, 07:27 PM   #24
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((OOC: ill also use my character from "Mission to Ord Katrassi: Klai's Revenge" ))
*lands his ship, the venture the right outside of the academy, jumps out and heads in, recognizing Obi Bond*
"Bond, we got multiple ships heading in, and i don't think they're coming over for lunch"


Vader's wife was very pregnant when she died 19 years ago. All of a sudden a 19 year old who is very strong in the force and has a distinct resembalance to him in his younger days rolls in from Vader's home planet with his old Master Obi-Wan (Who was the ONLY other person preset at the time his wife died. And to boot, the kid's last name is Skywalker.

So in answer to your question, he knew Luke was his son because his name is Darth Vader, and not Darth Retard.


-Forum post on why Vader knew Luke was his son.
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Old 02-03-2003, 07:40 PM   #25
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Zan-Cool thinks and says "I guess they are going to attack after all. I sense a great disturbance on one of those ships. I think it is a sith."

Zan-Cool continues, "I'll inform Luke that ships are heading this way."

"By the way, my name is Zan-Cool Corizen." he introduces himself to David.
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Old 02-03-2003, 08:51 PM   #26
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"My name's David, friends call me Havoc."


Vader's wife was very pregnant when she died 19 years ago. All of a sudden a 19 year old who is very strong in the force and has a distinct resembalance to him in his younger days rolls in from Vader's home planet with his old Master Obi-Wan (Who was the ONLY other person preset at the time his wife died. And to boot, the kid's last name is Skywalker.

So in answer to your question, he knew Luke was his son because his name is Darth Vader, and not Darth Retard.


-Forum post on why Vader knew Luke was his son.
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Old 02-03-2003, 09:02 PM   #27
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After the introduction, moments later, Zan-Cool meets up with Luke again.

"Master Luke," Zan-Cool says while slightly bowing towards Luke. Zan-Cool continues, "Havoc,a friend of Obi Bond, recently inform me and Obi Bond that multiple ships were heading in on Yavin. I sensed a great disturbance in one of the ships. I think it is.."

*Luke interupts Zan-Cool before he finishes*

"A sith. I know. Be prepare Zan-Cool. I'll warn the pilots to go and the prepare the X-wings and A-wings. It is best to take them out in space before they reach the Academy." says Luke.

"May the force be with you Jedi Corizen."

"May the force be with you Master Skywalker" Zan-Cool replies.

And with a slight bow to each other, they parted.
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Old 02-03-2003, 09:40 PM   #28
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(to Obi Bond)
"Skywalker's here? Damn. That's gonna complicate things"


Vader's wife was very pregnant when she died 19 years ago. All of a sudden a 19 year old who is very strong in the force and has a distinct resembalance to him in his younger days rolls in from Vader's home planet with his old Master Obi-Wan (Who was the ONLY other person preset at the time his wife died. And to boot, the kid's last name is Skywalker.

So in answer to your question, he knew Luke was his son because his name is Darth Vader, and not Darth Retard.


-Forum post on why Vader knew Luke was his son.
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Old 02-03-2003, 09:55 PM   #29
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Zan-Cool returns to where Obi-Bond and Havoc previously at.

Zan-Cool speaks to them, "I already informed Luke. He has X-wings and A-wings ready to take out those ships that are heading over here."
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Old 02-03-2003, 10:04 PM   #30
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"how many ships are there? They have at least 10 carriers"


Vader's wife was very pregnant when she died 19 years ago. All of a sudden a 19 year old who is very strong in the force and has a distinct resembalance to him in his younger days rolls in from Vader's home planet with his old Master Obi-Wan (Who was the ONLY other person preset at the time his wife died. And to boot, the kid's last name is Skywalker.

So in answer to your question, he knew Luke was his son because his name is Darth Vader, and not Darth Retard.


-Forum post on why Vader knew Luke was his son.
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Old 02-04-2003, 11:57 AM   #31
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Zan-Cool responses back, "20 of each wings. After all, we can contact the New Republic for help, but I'm sure Luke already contacted them way before you have came here."
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Old 02-04-2003, 12:26 PM   #32
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"they won't get here in time, we need more ships."


Vader's wife was very pregnant when she died 19 years ago. All of a sudden a 19 year old who is very strong in the force and has a distinct resembalance to him in his younger days rolls in from Vader's home planet with his old Master Obi-Wan (Who was the ONLY other person preset at the time his wife died. And to boot, the kid's last name is Skywalker.

So in answer to your question, he knew Luke was his son because his name is Darth Vader, and not Darth Retard.


-Forum post on why Vader knew Luke was his son.
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Old 02-04-2003, 02:09 PM   #33
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"Hmm...You are right. Wait a minute, I think Longo 2 Guns should be at the Academy's hanger. Luke was telling me that he inform Longo 2 Guns. Maybe he brought extra ships." says Zan-Cool.
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Old 02-04-2003, 03:10 PM   #34
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part 5

longo lands at the academy hangar and walks down the ramp of the gettysburg

longo: hello everybody waaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzuuuuuuuuupppppppp!!!!!!!!!

everybody: wwwwaaaaaaazzzzzzuuupppp!!!!!!!!!

zan cool: longo did u bring extra ships?

longo: no but i can contact my militia, they'll come in with 2 star ships and 4 wings of pursuer enforcement fighters per star ship
plus all of my ships are upgraded with super shields. now if it comes to air combat my ships also carry the gunships that were used during the clone wars. then if it comes to ground combat, my militia and jedi gang would be here.

obi-bond: great longo seems like ur always prepared.

longo: havoc what can u do to contribute to this battle? and obi bond?

havoc: i got my ship?

obi bond: same here

longo: zan cool i want you with me in the turrets on my ship. who will be the leader?

luke: i will.

longo: ok luke but may i suggest that you command everything from the ISD Yankee? if luminaro bombs the academy you will be safe on the yankee. now everybody- we will meet up in the hangar of the yankee. now lets get to it!!


Phillipians 4:13: I can do everything because Christ gives me strength.
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Old 02-04-2003, 03:51 PM   #35
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*Zan-Cool heads to the hanger with the others.*

"How much damage can take Longo?" Zan-Cool asks Longo 2 guns while they are walking.
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Old 02-04-2003, 04:28 PM   #36
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well zan cool it'll be hard hitting those sheilds, they can take alot of damage. hey anyway im sorry that we shot u down, we thought u were with luminaro since u appeared right after that sith fighter attack.

*takes out comlink* mk get the gettysburg ready and relay a message to helm's deep that all alvailable ships pilots and the jedi gang to come here. don't bother with the defenders at my house on the planet.

*mk whistles his ok*

now zan lets hop into the ship. here we got the chute that leads to both turrets. there is the door that leads to the cockpit.

zan: can we start heading out to space?

longo:yes we can. *reaches for comlink and contacts havoc and bond*

bond:im ready here longo

havoc: same here

longo: ok boys, here is the plan: if u feel u need to return for fuel or pick up more missles please go the yankee. if u feel u wanna quit the battle, u may return to the yankee. now to easily destroy the star fighter carriers we need to use space bombs. my ship can hold alot. i don't know about yas. if u yas want to join me for the attack runs on the carriers don't hesitate. i will be doing most of the bombing since my ship is heavily shielded. the star fighters will be shooting down the fighters. i have recieved word that the yankee and cornwallis are here. may the force be with you.

zan:are u sure we can do this?

longo: yes zan. ah master luke are u ready?

luke: yes longo

longo: here we go! hey lets put some tunes on. *reaches for cd case and it plays "Born to be Wild"

as the ships head for space, longo already sees that there are alot of ships in place. as havoc and bond head for the yankee to get their spacebombs loaded, red laser fire is spewing from the sith fighters.

longo: laser fire incoming! zan get to the turret, i have already targeted the first carrier.

4 space bombs come out and starts sailing towards the first carrier, all of a sudden the carrier explodes bringing 20 sith fighters along with it.


Phillipians 4:13: I can do everything because Christ gives me strength.
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Old 02-04-2003, 05:05 PM   #37
jokemaster
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*reaches into CD case and pulls out We Will Rock You*
"Space Bomb loaded, wait for it... NOW"
*shoots space bomb straight at opening where it catches 2 ships about to take off and blows up the carrier


Vader's wife was very pregnant when she died 19 years ago. All of a sudden a 19 year old who is very strong in the force and has a distinct resembalance to him in his younger days rolls in from Vader's home planet with his old Master Obi-Wan (Who was the ONLY other person preset at the time his wife died. And to boot, the kid's last name is Skywalker.

So in answer to your question, he knew Luke was his son because his name is Darth Vader, and not Darth Retard.


-Forum post on why Vader knew Luke was his son.
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Old 02-04-2003, 05:19 PM   #38
Jeedii_zaarinn
 
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great job havoc!!!!


Phillipians 4:13: I can do everything because Christ gives me strength.
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Old 02-04-2003, 10:41 PM   #39
topshot
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*inserts music from the "Little Nicky" soundtrack. Jams to "School of Hard Knocks" and "Change" while blasting down a few tie-bombers and interceptors.*

Obi:"Hey, how're you guys doin' against these guys??? Anyone???"


"My name's not 'Adam We'........or is it????"
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Old 02-04-2003, 11:01 PM   #40
Darth NeoVenom
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*Zan-Cool shoots down 3 tie-fighters with the turret and takes out his commlink*

Zan-Cool says to Obi Bond, "Everything seems good so far. What is your situation?"
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