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Old 02-28-2003, 10:17 PM   #1
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Posted a Fanfic here

Hey guys! I've posted a fanfic in DSF well more than a fanfic it's an idea for a TV series yo can see it in this adress:

well that's the adress if you want to see it there and give me some feed back on it here, you know what I'll post the first episode here and I'll put the other episodes in that adress.

Intro to the story:

In The Jedi Temple Yoda meditates when the door opens and 9 year old Anakin walks through the door, he looks a t Yoda while he meditates and then Yoda says, “Hello young Skywalker, how help you can I?”.
“Master Yoda”, Anakin said, “How was it when you were an apprentice? Were There any other Jedis as good as you or master Windu?”.
“Why yes, young Anakin”, Yoda answered and continued, “Two others as great as I there were, my great friends, Prince Juhnmia Ryu and Kagsan Youn, their names were those”.
Yoda looked at Anakin and said, “I once trained a Nadankce Skywalker, maybe ancestor of you he was, great in the force was he, exceptional padawan he was, just as you, young one”.
Anakin looked very interested in what Yoda was telling him and asked him, “Can you tell me the Story master Yoda?”, Yoda answered, “Of course young Anakin, It started 850 years ago…”.

Episode 1 – Dawn Of The Sith
A Jedi Battle cruiser entered the Atmosphere of a Yavin IV moon and landed, three Jedi Padawan stepped out of the ship and walked towards a big canyon, they looked around, but didn’t see a thing, “This place looks desolate, There doesn’t seem to be anything here”, one of them said, “Anyhow they sent us to investigate Juhnmia, remember? Master Ikhail Narib sent us here”, another one of them said, “Sense a disturbance in the force I can”, a little green alien said.
“Maybe we should split up”, said Juhnmia and continued, “Kagsan you take the path on the right, Yoda go down the left and I’ll go into the center of the canyon, communicate if you see anything”, they separated, Kagsan took a the path on the right where he found nothing but rocks pilled one over the other, and he sensed nothing there, Yoda didn’t even see a thing, the path was cut off by a great mountain that stood in front of him, but Juhnmia found a strange rock that resembled a door maybe, he tried to open it with his force powers and so he did, the door opened and he saw that beyond the door there was a huge passage way heading to a tunnel, he called his friends Yoda and Kagsan and they decided to go through the door and down the passage way into the tunnel, when they got down they saw three sith just sitting around the table not doing much, Yoda looked at his friends and said, “Take them on we can”, “No Yoda, remember we can not attract attention”, Juhnmia told Yoda, then a hole in the ground spread open and Yoda fell through it, when he stopped his fall he realized that he was right in the middle of the Sith’s table, Yoda called his friends who jumped in front of them, “Mind if we cut in?”, Kagsan said, the six of them turned on their lightsabers, Juhnmia’s blue blade seemed unstoppable to the Sith he was fighting against was too weak and could barely block his strokes, Kagsan with his green blade realized the same and Yoda with his green saber didn’t even give it a second thought he was too busy defeating the Sith Knight he was up against, when they defeated them, they asked each other if they noticed that those sith were extremely weak in the force, they agreed that they had felt it but they decided not to dwell on it and went down through a passage into a room that seamed to be a warehouse, there were several barrels pilled up one over the other, they decided to open the barrels and discovered that they were filled with blaster rifles, blast armors and something more disturbing, there were thousands of barrels full of at least a hundred red bladed lightsabers, they found this confusing for part the training of a Jedi or Sith for that matter is to CONSTRUCT his own lightsaber, not have it manufactured and they obviously they were not replacement weapons for a stupid sith that loses his saber every time he goes out, but they knew that there was something darker to the whole thing than just a few barrels of lightsabers and armors, they went down on an elevator, they got to a factory, and they saw something terrible, out of the machines there were androids, but they had living tissue on them, and out of each android they felt a weak concentration of the force, and at the end of the machine each biomechanical sith soldier received a blast armor, a blaster rifle and a lightsaber. “So this is how the Sith are able to fight a war against us?”, asked Kagsan, “No wonder why they are so great in numbers, they are constructing Sith Knights not training them”, replied Juhnmia, “This factory destroyed must be, or outnumbered we’ll be when the war comes”, Yoda said in a troubled tone of voice.
After a few minutes Kagsan came up with a plan, they decided to send Yoda to destroy the power generator while Juhnmia holds off the biomechanical soldiers and Kagsan opens the Power generator blast door and sets explosive charges in the factory, Juhnmia ran and stepped right in front of the Soldiers, he looked at them and turned on his lightsaber, he realized that they were too many but since they were very weak he could hold them of just enough while Yoda takes the power generator out and Kagsan sets the charges, he started to fight in the Form VII combat stance, Kagsan saw him from far away and bumped with several soldiers himself he defeated them easily with his Form VII combat stance and then he ran to set the charges, Yoda found the generator and he set a thermal charge inside and closed the blast door, after a few seconds he heard an explosion and saw how the lights went out and the machines stopped working, Kagsan finished placing the charges and headed towards Juhnmia who was still fighting of the sith soldiers, Kagsan joined him and waited until Yoda arrived to where they were, and when he did, they ran to the exit and they stopped outside, they saw that in the entrance of the cave the explosion made some of the rocks plummet and seal the entrance, they headed to their ship and they set their course to Coruscant to speak to the head of the Jedi Council Master Ikhail Narib and his right hand Kamir Bofane.
Arriving at The hangar of the Jedi Temple they decided to head straight to the Council chamber to speak with Master Ikhail Narib, who gladly let them in and said, “Well my favorite padawans what news do you bring for me?”, Juhnmia replied to his master, “It was a set up Master, they built biomechanical Sith Knights, they were weak but great in numbers”, then Kagsan said, “We succeeded in destroying the factory in which they were built and got out of there as fast as we could”, Yoda took the word and said, “We believe more factories there are, investigate we should”, after hearing this Ikhail Narib told them that they should investigate and sent them to patrol the nearby planets that surrounded the Yavin System.

Juhnmia Ryu The One to Change The world ForEver
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Old 02-28-2003, 10:28 PM   #2
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I'm movin this over to the RP/fanfic boards.

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Old 02-28-2003, 10:47 PM   #3
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Gah, my eyes!

DSF shows it better. Click the link all. I will edit this of my review. I've been busy today.

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